Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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