Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
