I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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