So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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