Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
