there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
