Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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