We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
