I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
