you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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