i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
we should paint friendship bongs
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