i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
