Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize