YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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