I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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