The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
