So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
