He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
They have beer where we have blood.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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