just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
