my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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