the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize