I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
