You're completely useless in the revolution.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
