i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
