oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
