FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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