who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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