Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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