i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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