No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
