I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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