I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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