did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
