Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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