just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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