that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
