just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
