I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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