new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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