Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
