So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
