This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
