He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize