She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
