She said her name was "party"
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Vodka?
Forever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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