STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
