Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
