My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
