i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize