I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize