Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
