I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
