Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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