just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
