A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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