well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
