I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
