My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
