I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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