Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
