Having a random hookup so left but love u
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
