Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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