We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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