how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
