im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
