After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize