you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
its liver damage thursday
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
