I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
