The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
