Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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