is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
