My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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