The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
